Coping Skills for Anger
Learn: It is important to know and understand your anger triggers. Anger triggers are the things that set off your emotional experiences. Identifying triggers and managing anger effectively involves understanding what sets off your emotions, recognizing early signs of anger, and applying practical coping skills to deal with your anger in a healthy way. It is important to understand that anger is often considered a secondary emotion because it typically arises in response to other, underlying emotions. Instead of being the primary reaction to a situation, anger usually masks or is triggered by deeper feelings that may be harder to express or acknowledge. These underlying emotions are often vulnerable feelings, such as hurt, fear, sadness, guilt, or shame.
For example: Imagine feeling hurt because a friend canceled plans at the last minute. Instead of acknowledging the sadness or disappointment, it might be easier to express anger toward the friend (“They’re so inconsiderate!”). In this way, anger is masking the more vulnerable feeling of hurt.
Change: Identify anger triggers, develop coping skills, and put into action long term anger management strategies.
Step 1: Identify Triggers
Self-Reflection: Spend time noting situations, people, or places that consistently provoke your anger. Journaling is a helpful tool—write down when, where, and with whom you felt anger and any patterns you notice.
Recognize Physical Signs: Anger often shows up physically (e.g., clenched fists, faster heart rate). Pay attention to these signals as they can indicate a brewing anger episode.
Notice Thought Patterns: Certain thoughts can trigger anger, like "This isn't fair," or "They don't respect me." Track thoughts that frequently lead to anger.
Step 2: Develop Coping Skills
Pause and Breathe: When anger starts, take slow, deep breaths. Deep breathing helps reduce tension and activates your body’s relaxation response.
Label the Emotion: Simply saying, "I am angry" can help create a bit of distance between you and the emotion, making it easier to respond thoughtfully.
Use Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Gradually tense and relax different muscle groups to release tension and distract from the immediate anger trigger.
Practice Assertive Communication: When appropriate, express your feelings clearly and respectfully. For example, use “I” statements like, "I feel frustrated when…" rather than blame-based statements.
Redirect with Physical Activity: Physical movement can be a productive way to release anger. A brisk walk, stretching, or any kind of workout can help burn off angry energy.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Ask yourself if your thoughts about the trigger are entirely accurate or if you’re exaggerating. Reframe thoughts more constructively (e.g., “They’re just having a bad day”).
Step 3: Long-Term Anger Management
Mindfulness Practice: Regular mindfulness helps you stay grounded, making it easier to recognize triggers before anger escalates.
Set Boundaries: Identify situations or relationships that often lead to anger and set boundaries to protect your mental well-being.
Work on Problem-Solving Skills: Sometimes, anger arises from unresolved problems and experiences connected to the past. It can be helpful to engage in talk therapy to work through past experiences and emotions that are associated with anger. It is also helpful to practice breaking down issues into smaller, manageable steps that can reduce frustration.
Grow: By understanding your triggers and practicing these skills regularly, you can develop greater control over your anger and respond in ways that support your mental and physical health and improve your relationships.
Source: Verywell Mind